How to Deal with the Disappointment of Persistent Sin
Do not lose heart. Even sins can work together for good.
So, you want to be a saint? This is good and well. This desire to please God pleases God. And yet, all of us still struggle with sin. For many of us, these sins can become habits and even addictions. If only we may think, if only I can be free of this habit, this addiction, I would be freer to pursue God! And we pray fervently for God to take away this addiction or bad habit, and things seem to work out for a few days, and even weeks or months, and then in a moment of weakness, we succumb.
At this point, we may grow resentful and even angry against God. Doesn’t God want me to be free of this sin? Isn’t God powerful enough to set me free? Why isn’t God helping me more with this? And yet our prayers appear to go unanswered. We may lose heart and think our goal of holiness is impossible. A dream for dreamers. A reality perhaps for others less broken. Or that sanctity is impossible, and all we can do is hope that God’s mercy will cover our multitude of sins.
Do not lose heart! God’s will for us is to be holy, as God is holy (1 Peter 1:16). God, who has begun His work in us, will bring it to completion (Philippians 1:6).
Then why doesn’t God just take away our persistent sins?
I have been reading Peter Kreeft’s small but excellent book How to be Holy: First Steps in Becoming a Saint. In this book, Kreeft draws from Caussade’s Abandonment to Divine Providence. Kreeft gives a reason as to why God doesn’t always take away our sins:
But even sins can be made to work together for good through the golden gate of repentance. For sincerely reported sins can make us humble and wise. That is why God does not give us instant grace to overcome all sins: because that would make us proud, and pride is the worst sin of all. The Pharisees of Jesus’ time seemed more pure and sinless, more obedient to the divine Law, than anyone else; and yet Jesus said they were on the road to Hell because of their one remaining sin, which was more deadly than all other sin put together: the refusal to repent because of pride and self-righteousness. So if you want to attack your other sins, start with attacking your pride.” (Peter Kreeft, How to be Holy, emphasis added).
Here’s how to deal with persistent sin
While the temptation to accept the reality of persistent sin in our lives is high, the solution is not to throw the towel and abandon the journey toward holiness. Here is what to do instead.
Repent and confess your sins the next chance you have. Our call as faithful Christians is not to be perfect and never to sin. Our call is to resist evil and repent when, not if, we fall. Our BCP expresses this commitment in The Baptismal Covenant: “Will you persevere in resisting evil, and, whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?” (pg. 304). If we repent, return to the Lord, and commit to resisting evil, we do what is asked of us. It is one thing to try and fall. God will not condemn us if we try and fail. It is another thing never to try and fall. God will not look kindly at our lack of commitment.
Focus on your pride. As Kreeft helpfully points out, one reason God allows us to fall into sin is to fight our pride. If God were to remove completely the temptation from us, we would most likely grow proud and trust in our righteousness, instead of God’s grace. Attack your pride and practice humility. Learn how to rely on God’s grace alone, and not on our strength, and healing will come.
Find your strength in the Sacraments and the liturgical life of the Church. Commit yourself to the life of the Church. Christ gave us His Sacraments as a source of nourishment and His grace. Plug yourself into the sacramental life of the Church, especially the Eucharist. Participate in the liturgical life of the Chruch by praying the Daily Office. Go to confession if you can find a priest that you can trust. Bring your sins to the light, as they tend to grow stronger in secrecy. During confession, we not only receive absolution but also many graces to fight our habitual sins.
I believe with these three steps we would be long on our way to our healing. These steps must be undertaken with the faith that God desires our healing and liberation. If we persist in them, we will notice God's good work in our lives begin to grow. We will be transformed, if perhaps slowly, into the image of God’s Son. Do not lose heart and remain on the road. It is long and arduous, but the joy of the Lord will be our strength as we tread the long hill of holiness.
